I have been studying how parenting in Islam and amazed with discoursed by Ust. Nouman Ali Khan at bayyinahtv. Wanted to make notes with my own laguanges or translated it to Indonesian but I am affraid it will makes misunderstanding since i have lack of knowledge. However, I want to sharing how good his talk, so I tried my best to transcribe it. Hope it will be beneficial for you as a parent.
The way we raise our children in this time is very different from how our parents had to raise us, things have changed very, very dramatically for us and they’re not the same as they were for our parents. When we were being raised or when my father was being raised by his parent, it was almost as though raising their children as Muslim was autopilot. Because there was an Islamic environment, there was a lot of decency, islam was kind of everywhere, it was all around event wasn’t best form but children were very much exposed to Islam.or stand being a very normal part of life. Last decades thing changed a lot and very very quickly. In a society when the majority of people, follow certain religion, lifestyle, culture it easy to maintain, it easy to pass it on to the next generation. But when you are a minority, when you’re not the dominant culture and your values aren’t represented in most of what’s happening in society then you cannot assume that your religion will be passed down to the next generation. What happen in society make your children think “Why are we so weird”. There is a force outside and impacts all of us. And it’s very hard to think that were normal to us parents are going to be normal to our children, just the way our parents made it normal for us. We going to have to do something extra. We’re going to have to go out our way to parent our children. A lot of things that used to be an autopilot are no longer possible on autopilot. So, how we can get as much advice and counsel and wisdom from Allah Azza wa zalla as possible as humanly possible and then maybe do a better job at raising our children and having the right attitude and mentality and expectations about what it means, what does that responsibility means? That we are parents. What does that even mean? A lot of times people think that having a child is a set of responsibilities. We have to to make sure we feed them, take care of them, provide those things, etc. Are there some other things we should be thinking about for our children that maybe we haven’t given that much thought to. Is there something that Allah wants us to make priority with our parenting that we haven’t really made a priority ourselves?
When you need help something, just open Quran and start reading, you’ll find help, what can we learn from Quran about parenting:
- Children is blessing, children are gift from Allah. How Allah tell us that children is a gift, what a gift our children are
- What should be our concern as parents? And what does Allah teach us about other concerned the parents in the Quran. And what their concerns and their concern must have been so valid and so appropriate that Allah considers those timeless concern so Allah put them in His permanent book, His eternal book.
- Kids can be trial, kids can be a challenge.
- Us and our children on Judgement Day, its give perspective what is ahead for us and our future with our children. We thinking or not a day is coming where we are either going to be next to our children or not.
- Parental psychology from QS. Yusuf and Qs Al-Qasas. Understanding children’s emotions, communication
- Teach our children the entire Quran, what important thing that they should hear about, that they should know about from the Quran. What should be our attitude towards Muslim, racism and bigotry, patient, anger, jealousy, greed, selfishness, lying, etc. How to teach children certain values? What are the values that at least I feel like that ayah can be the source of inspiration for discussion with our children.
- Allah encourages us to devote our children to the service of Islam. Somehow it should impact the way I’m going to raise my child. How am I going to prepare this child to be a servant of this Deen? It comes to realization that we, ourselves service to Allah, everything we have has to be in service to Allah. So our children are actually, technically not our children. They are gift from Allah to us to be used for His name. So that changes our mentality about how we want our kids to be raised and what we want them to do and how we wanted them to think.
The value, the important of parenting
QS. Annisa: 1
Yaa ayyuhannas Mankind, Humanity
Ittaqu Rabbakumu be cautious of your master
Allazi kholaqokum min nafsi wahidah who created you out of single nafs, adam alaihi salam
When Allah called humanity, He talked about parenting because our relationship wth adam allaihisalam and all humanitys’s creation is a results of this. Humanity doesn’t exsist unless this parenthood so the first parent is mentioned
Wa kholako minha zaujahaa From nafsi, He made his spouse
Wa basa min huma rijalan katsiran Wa nisaaan., and dispersed from both of them many men and women out from them
The story of humanity at the end of the day is the story of parenting. At the end of the day,. Our story, our history is one of parenting. And He says, at the end of this ayah in the beginning of this Allah honoured adam alaihisalam. Min nafasin wahidah. On single nafs is where all of you came from. Our noble father adam alaihisalam. But what about the honour of the mother? By the end of the ayah Wattaqullah alazi annabihi wa arham be cautious of Allah the one whose name you used when you ask each other things. For God’s sake, help me out here. Invoke his name when you ask each other for things. Wa arhamna, which means be cautious and careful and protective of the womb. Beginning of the ayah nafs. Pointing to the father Adam as. One of us has to be cautious of arham. The womb who’s referring to the mother. Have to be cautious of mother. Have taqwa of Allah. Means protect yourself from Allah rights, protect yourself from violating the laws, protect yourself from making Allah angry, protect yourself from crossing the line in your relationship with Allah. have taqwa not only for Allah but the relation that come from the womb of the mother, so you gave those relationship has to be guarded. The fundamental relation we are tied to our parents by the womb. We have taqwa on that relationship. We have to protect that relationship parents have to protect that for their children. Not only children tied to the parents, parents are also tied to the children. The rights of parents is a big deal in Islam and parents are hugely honoured in island. Parents are tremendously honoured in Islam. It necessarily means they have a lot of responsibility. The honour is tied to your responsibility. Parents really been honoured, that must mean parents have a huge responsibility.
w!n :) 